Handbook for Mortals
   Joanne Lynn, M.D. & Joan Harrold, M.D.
  1999 Oxford University Press NY USA
   ISBN: 0195116623


In this Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness with the Foreword by Rosalynn Carter, two doctors have given us a remarkably readable, comprehensive guide for the care of those about to exit this world & those in attendance.

Like taxes, death comes to us all - whether it's sudden or gradual, whether it's our own or someone close - leaving this garment, quitting this life, passing on to the next Grand Adventure is something we all inherit.

In each of the seventeen chapters of this detailed, simply written, expressive & compassionate volume, are poignant poems, soothing photos & sidebars of lists to walk us through from Living With Serious Illness to Finding Meaning to Helping Family Make Decisions and Give Care; from getting the Help You Need to Talking With Your Doctor; from Controlling Pain to Planning Ahead; from to Hastening Death to The Dying of Children to Enduring Loss & beyond.

This book really comforted us through the last weeks of our Poppa's life - helped us as caregivers & children; gave us the voice & ears of this aged parent. It helped us assert his rights with faint-hearted physicians, stand firm with badgering bureaucrats & eased our panic when we felt we knew nothing.

So much of the needs of the dying are deeply intimate. We found Poppa really enjoyed having his back swabbed with rubbing alcohol & gently blown upon to cool & freshen. He also liked being wet shaved, the smell of the creams pleasing his nearly defunct olfactory sense.

At some point he started to refuse the medications that would keep his valiant & damaged heart pumping along. Immediately we were learning his facial & body language to forestall the pain with the cocktails prescribed for him. We also began reading to him from his favorite book - the Bible.

A huge crew of researching assistants from the Center to Improve Care of the Dying out of George Washington University, put this Handbook for Mortals together & the caring insights, profound realizations & ordinary instructions make for a really useful book that you can pick up at any time & not worry about disturbing someone in the middle of the night or during their busy work day.

I came up in a society where one didn't talk about dying, almost as if not mentioning it would make it not happen, almost as if dying was a sort of failure. Actually it's the one thing in which we all succeed. Being aware of what happens, how it affects those around us & what can be done is simply accepting the fullness of the circle. As birth happens so does death & I'd rather be prepared for it, think about it & get on with being alive for as long as I'm allotted than be mugged by it because I refused to include dying into the process of living.

We both highly recommend Handbook for Mortals.
(01/02/00)

Rebecca