Helping Your Aging Parent
 William J. Grote
 (Reviewed by The Editor - Rebecca Brown)
 2002 Boomer Books
  ISBN: 0971737304
Amazon's price is: $19.95
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A Step-By-Step Guide, including a CD-ROM with Helpful Checklists, Agreements & Forms.

When it comes to taking care of our parents, & by the millions, we baby-boomers are now facing this, most of us don't know where to begin. It is especially true if your parents have been independent & living on their own all your adult life.

How do you know when to step in & take charge? If you do, where do you begin, & where do you leave off? How can you get others involved?

When William Grote approached me to review his Helping Your Aging Parent I was elated--at last, someone who has done what I, as I was writing Standing The Watch: Memories of a home death, could not. Here he has taken us through the maze of understanding our parents' needs & wants, in a big book, with a CD tucked into the back flap so you can print out the things you'll need along the way.

When I was taking care of Poppa I felt exactly as William Grote writes in his How Do You Know When Your Parent Needs Help? chapter: “Sooner or later most of us will have to step in and help our parents...being able to help...when they're truly in need is one of the most important opportunities you'll have in your lifetime. It's far more important than a promotion at work, or any personal achievement you may seek for yourself. It's a chance to get in touch with the meaning of why you're here, to become aware of the greater sense of your humanity, or even allowing you insight into your roles as a spiritual being.” Page 6.

Helping Your Aging Parent is written in an engaging way, not cold & formal or slaptstick & casual. It's as if William Grote is sitting with you in your living room, sharing the wisdom he gleaned from his experience of helping his aging mother. He also has the insight of a son whose father died in a car crash, & while we might consider the death of a parent happening that way as easier, he assures us it was, in fact, much harder because he never got to say goodbye.

Helping Your Aging Parent is written in 9 chapters with a good Index & samples of the forms you'll find on the CD:
• The Doctor Visit: is a detailed investigation into how to look at your parent's health & intepret the signs; finding out family medical histories; getting ready to talk with your parent's doctor; getting examinations; accepting results, & finding programs that help seniors.
• Signing Up for the Future: is all about your parents' finances: power of attorney, life directives, living wills, & death directives.
• Housing: Finding the Best Option for Your Parent be it with you, having someone live with your parent, foster care, senior apartments or retirment homes. All sorts of options are considered.
• Surviving the Hospital: covers from getting your parent admitted to the power of prayer. What will you do when your parent is hospitalized?
• Dealing With Dementia and Other Mental Disorders. I joke, now & again, about having a Senior Moment, however, part of aging is an inevitably fading memory, though we may fight it like all-get-out! Sometimes, it's more than “mere” aging, & this chapter clearly explains what that may be.
• Nursing Homes. We all have visions of ghastly, stinking, drab warehouses where old people are abandoned with nothing to do, nobody to play with & little “care” of any kind. Here we learn what nursing homes can & cannot do for us.
• Hospice, Death and Funerals: tells of the end of life care. What to expect, what you'll have to do.

Life is a one-way highway--forward unto death. No matter how many fountains of youth we may quaff at, we are going to age & we are going to take up our ticket to ride out of here. How we die & how we help our parents die is up to us, just as our parents helped us come into this world.

Helping Your Aging Parent is a worthy companion to help everyone face their final years here on earth. It is reader-friendly, the cartoons are good for a giggle (& you've got to hone your funny bone along with all your other skills!) & the information it contains will be of immense use.

Very well done!
(02/23/03)

Rebecca