After the Darkest Hour
   Kathleen, A. Brehony, Ph.D.
  2000 Henry Holt & Co. New York USA
   ISBN: 0805064354


Mastering the art of suffering makes it possible to find courage, meaning & a renewed appreciation for the remarkable mystery of life. Practical advice, strategies & exercises to help you approach life's difficult situations.

How is it that some people become bitter while others thrive as they live through difficult or painful experiences? What can we learn that will guide us through our own dark times to greet the dawn with brighter sight?

Most of us are taught to expect tough times - whether it's the loss of work or the death of a loved one - to suffer horribly, perhaps even more than we can bear. We expect to be diminished, to be tested & found wanting. Most of us think grieving is for wimps & the emotionally unstable. That courage is the cloaking of that pain. That wisdom is ignoring the consequences of that suffering.

Most of us have been taught poorly: taught that control is all & surrender cowardly; taught that destiny rules our lives & choice is for the wealthy.

For those of us who have begun to realize that we can face our situations in a more conscious enlightened way, will find After the Darkest Hour a worthy addition to our examined life.

In Part One, Dr. Brehony, tells the stories that reflect the ways people react to the dramas, the suffering that arrives in their lives. From her own family members to the learning of a mourning mother, Kisagotami, at the feet of Buddha to people awakening after being diagnosed with cancer. The Truth about Life - Everyone Lives a Drama is how we learn the lessons given us that transforms the quality of our lives.

After the Darkest Hour is a rich & thoughtful read. While gently instructive, it does remind us, frequently, that we are not alone & that walking blindly through our lives will surely cause us to whack our shins on what we insist upon not seeing or believing that no one else, ever, has felt or known such misery.

Dr. Brehony raises two explanations for why we expect to suffer. One is in punishment or retribution: sometime we must have done something for which we must pay & the other is this assumption that life ought to be fair. We gain fleeting comfort assigning the mystery & chaos we call life on Earth to a God or some creative intelligence because then there are rules we can learn & at which we can become adept. Deep inside we expect that if we're good & play by the rules we'll be spared sorrow & pain.

In Reflections on Suffering Dr. Brehony leads us from Lead into Gold, or the Alchemical Process of Making the Best from the Worst; Brick Houses and Straw Houses: How Prepared Are We for Hard Times? & more.

In A Dozen Strategies for Growing Through the Pain we are introduced to one of the most enduring illusions that we keep carrying: that of wanting always to be happy & avoiding suffering. What we must carry instead, is the awareness that a great deal of suffering simply cannot be avoided for we must face aging, dying & losing people we love. We must watch our children leave us, our bodies decline, our pets pass away & opportunities for career advancement dwindle. When we feel grief & sorrow when we're in the midst of these times it is not only understandable; it's also psychologically & spiritually healthy.

It is the needless suffering we bring on ourselves that is unnecessary & unhealthy. What are those sufferings? Resistance; Expectations; Illusions; Failure of Responsibility; Ruminative Suffering; Failure of Compassion; Unconscious Approach to Life & Self-Sabotage. There's a lot to be learning from After the Darkest Hour; savor this wise woman's writings, candor & meditations. I feel blessed to have come across this author's works.

I also relished Dr. Brehony's Practical Suggestions & her stories as she recounts her insights from the lessons her clients & family taught her.

During the months after Poppa died I did not know how grief would affect me & from Dr. Brehony's After the Darkest Hour I have learned a lot about myself, how I express my emotions & make my choices. A remarkably healing book to which I shall refer frequently as I continue to step upon my path.

Kathleen Brehony's valediction reads: Open the door to your guest house. Say “yes” to all of your life. Choose to live joyfully even in your pain. Love yourself and everyone else. Be present always - alive to every moment. Grieve when you should, fight when you can, accept when you must...above all, say yes.

Kathleen A. Brehony is a Jungian-oriented psychotherapist, personal coach & public speaker. Her other books are: Awakening at Midlife & Ordinary Grace.
(02/04/01)

Rebecca