Becoming Soul Mates
Elva Anson M.A.MFT
(Reviewer - Rebecca Brown)
2004 Emidra Publishing
ISBN: 0972356932

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How to Create the Lifelong Relationship You Always Dreamed Of.

Most people believe that out in the world somewhere their soulmate exists. The trick is to find that person. On Becoming Soul Mates shows you what to do to become soul mates for a lifetime & create the relationship you have always wanted.

Easy to read, filled with eye-catching graphics & lively aphorisms, Becoming Soul Mates is based on the author's decades of experience as a marriage therapist & her own lifelong & healthy marriage.

Starting with The Search for Intimacy, the basis of all adult relationships, Elva Anson dives right in with the case of a frustrated husband & a discussion of what intimacy really is, & the varying understandings we have of it. & then she tells us that that “perfect relationship” waiting beyond the horizon, where everything will perfectly & spontaneously happen, is an illusion. All relationships take work, lifelong work. So where to begin?

With you, of course! What are your ideas of intimacy? Confrontation? Responsibility? Opinions? Behavior ... & happiness?

Set out in eleven chapters which range through how to Create Safety through Love to Sex & Spirituality. Through The Language of Sex to How to Listen So Your Lover Will Talk. From How to Talk So Your Lover Will Listen to how to Resolve the Complexity of Talking About Feelings. From learning how to Make Differences Work for You to The Parallel Path - Intimacy with God & Partner, until finally, on how to have Fun Getting Close, On Becoming Soul Mates is a lively, forthright look into what makes relationships work. Everything Elva Anson writes about can be applied to any intimate relationship -- regardless of the genders involved.

& that perfect relationship with that perfect soul mate? Could be it's been right in front of your nose all the time, except you've been holding up that illusion as a guard & a mask so you won't have to take a look at how you relate ... always expecting the perfect relationship to just happen, as if you're entitled to it without doing the work to get & maintain it! Remember who you “fell in love” with?

Other than clarifying what a “soul mate” is, what has On Becoming Soul Mates taught me & my Beloved? That talking & listening are vital. That sharing is fun. That people think differently about feelings, & feelings are different between genders. That sex is something we do that pleases our bodies. That spirituality is in everything we do, & that we are the creators of our own happiness.

Very well done! Healthy & useful lessons well taught -- for the both of you!

www.emidrapublishing.com

More from Elva Anson:
How to Get Kids to Help at Home
The Complete Book of Home Management
(04/04/04)

Rebecca