The Tender Bar
J. R. Moehringer
(Reviewer - Coletta Ollerer)
2005 Hyperion
ISBN: 1401300642

A Memoir of growing up fatherless in Manhasset, New York.

The Tender Bar are the memories a young man who has known his father only as “The Voice” on the radio, of a struggling single mother, of a lively & dysfunctional family & a homage to the culture of the local pub. That's where young J.R. seeks out the companionship of male role models in place of his absent father.

Associate Reviewer Coletta Ollerer writes:

J R Moehringer's earliest memories have him living with his mother at his grandfather's crowded, messy & unkempt home. “Under that one sagging roof my mother and I lived with Grandpa, Grandma, my mother's two grown siblings -- Uncle Charlie and Aunt Ruth -- and Ruth's five daughters and one son. ‘Huddled masses yearning to breath rent-free,’ Grandpa called us.” (p.15)

When Ruth decides to take her brood to Arizona, JR's mother & he follow. Things do not go well for Ruth but her sister decides to stay when Ruth goes back home. JR's mother is smart enough to know that her son needs male supervision & companionship so when the school year ends she sends him back to Grandpa's where he comes under the influence of his uncle, a single man with lots of friends who is also the head bartender at the Publicans, a favorite pub in Manhasset, a place that “believed in booze.”

His uncle begins to include JR in his activities with his friends & JR loves the company of these characters, who take a liking to him. “Everything the men taught me that summer fell under the loose catchall of confidence. That was all. But that was enough. That, I later realized, was everything.” (p.95) He is enthralled with the idea of a meeting place for men & is delighted when he is first admitted to Publicans. As he grows older the bar becomes his refuge from the storms of life & its denizens his closest friends.

His mother reveals that grandpa wouldn't allow her to attend college, which she very much regrets, & encourages JR to plan on completing his education. He dreams of attending university & getting a job, ‘if I lived frugally I might still be able to take care of my mother and send her to college...’(p.123) He bravely applies to Yale & is amazed when he is accepted, but as he begins his first year he learns he is not prepared for the academic demands. During a discussion of Plato in philosophy class he observes a classmate “scribbling rejoinders to Socrates in the margins of his text.” (p.167) He thinks, “In a million years I wouldn't disagree with Socrates, and if I did, I'd keep it to myself.” (p.167) Despite setbacks he does graduate & begins his life in the workaday world.

The Tender Bar is a delightful memoir of the coming of age of a boy whose father was absent. JR is so easy to like, full of insecurities but open & willing to work hard & learn. & he has a lot learn from the unusual people who inhabit his life: his selfish, unpleasant & cantankerous grandfather, loving but ineffectual grandmother. Aunt Ruth, so angry at the world & her life. Her children, his cousins, whom he adores, & Uncle Charlie, who is among his heroes. Most of all, his mother, whom he loves mightily.

A fun read -- all about learning to become a man with little about booze. J.R. Moehringer is a Pulitzer Prize–winning writer for the Los Angeles Times.
(04/23/06)

Coletta
2006©Coletta Ollerer
A RebeccasReads.Com Associate Reviewer

Reviewer's Bio:
I have always enjoyed writing. As a teenager I submitted to magazines like Seventeen, & was politely rejected. As a young mother, I had several poems published in The Chicago Tribune. Born in Chicago in 1932, I still live in the area. Since I retired, I have had some success on the Internet with my book reviews, stories & poetry. I enjoy historical fiction mostly, but will read anything uplifting, informative & fun. When I'm not reading & writing, I'm making jewelry, sewing needlepoint, & painting.