Carolyn :
I'm sorry to be so pokey. My poor old knee had complications, but all is well now and yesterday I walked 2 miles. Finally I get to your interview!
Rebecca :
Tell me about yourself and how you began this adventure of hearing from people who have died.
Carolyn :
My adventure into the world of spirits began when I became an assistant professor at Connecticut College in the Dance Department (I was Carolyn Coles then). My two daughters and I moved into a house in New London and in the third week I came home one night from a rehearsal and found my daughters locked in one of the bedrooms, each holding a kitchen knife.
“What in the world are you doing with those kitchen knives?” I asked as they unlocked their door. “There's something in the house,” they answered, “bumping and banging around.”
That was the beginning of our five-year relationship with Aron, a ghost. What began with fear turned into a real friendship. We set a place at the table for him at Christmas and Easter. We tried to accommodate his wishes by keeping the cats out of the attic. He roamed the house at night so we became used to his opening of the refrigerator door, practicing his typing, taking a shower. Periodically he left us gifts, like a necktie with a golfer practicing his swing.
I made a point to learn everything I could about ghosts, which was the best way I knew to eliminate fear.
When I left New London and moved to Washington, D.C. Aron did not move with me. But my ability to lift the veil did, as I was later to learn.
Rebecca :
Gertrude says:
“Waste not
A single day
Being sad.”
Why do we grieve and what is grief massage?
Carolyn :
We grieve to release pain. Through pain we receive the gift.
A grief massage gives a person a safe place to grieve. I used to find I barely had to move. Usually I simply placed my hand where it felt intuitively right and let it rest there. Often I saw pictures or scenes involving the person who had died. Sometimes the person who had died left messages which I could hear and relay. I felt I was in a church during a grief massage. It was a very sacred experience.
Rebecca :
Tim's memories of blooming cherry trees and Julia's reminiscents of the flowers in her garden and her love of colors, purple in particular -- are
bright with images -- are the words you write descriptions of the visions you
saw?
Carolyn :
Yes, always. That is why I listen so carefully. If I talked, I would only hear myself. For this reason, I take no time to gather information that might prove the legitimacy of my work to the person grieving. Instead I let spirits approach me and guide me. What I work on is clearing my channel so I become an accurate receiver. When we connect, the pictures are frequently there. And if they are there, I describe them.
Rebecca :
What would you say to someone who has a loved one dying or already passed over and who still feels unresolved, unfinished, unhappy by their leaving?
Carolyn :
I would say: “Look for the gift.”
A gift is something you receive as the result of the dying or death of a loved one that you can't receive in any other way. There is always a gift when someone dies, as hard as that may be to comprehend. Finding the gift is the only way I know to experience comfort, resolution, closure. It's the only way to let go of the pain and get on with life.
For example, a friend of mine recently lost her husband. What was her gift? She became closer to her daughter in a way she never had been before.
Another example, the daughter of a couple, friends of mine, died. The gift for the parents? They learned to reach out for and accept the love of other people in a way they could not when their daughter was alive. They learned to pray and became closer to God.
Gifts usually reflect the bigger picture.
Rebecca :
Were you surprised when the mastiff Butch came to you? Does your beloved Great Pyrenees dog Jean-Luc also sense the presences when you are out walking?
Carolyn :
No, I wasn't surprised when Butch made himself known to me. I knew he was dying because he knew it. His presence was so strong in his house that when I first entered it after his death I thought he was still alive. Our communication in death was as strong as it had been in life.
Jean-Luc is with me most of the time I spirit-walk. He's much better at seeing spirits than I am. So are my cats. One night I was sitting on my bed with my dog and two cats when I suddenly saw three furry heads turning simultaneously as they watched something criss-cross the room. They were seeing something I was unable to see.
Jean-Luc and I meditate together regularly and have recently completed a book entitled Spirit-Dog.
Rebecca :
In several of your commentaries on receiving these messages you write about how it affects you -- the weeping, the sleeplessness. How do you return to your everyday life?
Carolyn :
In the beginning I wept all the time. The closer I was in my connection to the deceased, the more I cried. I wouldn't, couldn't return to my everyday life until I was finished, until I had their message exactly right. The experience exhausted me.
I'm better at spirit-walking now. Occasionally I actually experience joy. They taught me that.
Rebecca :
In your bio it says you have written novels, plays and The Nog Stories. Would you tell us about these other writing efforts?
Carolyn :
One way or another, my writing is autobiographical. I particularly enjoy writing for children. I currently have three books in print, Spirit-Walking; Where Did All The Water Go? & now Quiet Please-Eaglets Growing. Right now I'm working on Earth Myth: Stories For A Better Planet, a book for the whole family. I wish there were a shelf in book stores exclusively for family reading, for books that need to be read out loud, like the Harry Potter books.
My collection of spirit-walking adventures continues to grow. One day it would please me if I could find a publisher for these accounts as well. Perhaps a Spirit-Walking 2?
My The Nog Stories describe what I see in Nog's world (Nog is a beam of blue light) whenever something happens I have no explanation for. For example, one story describes the gift that was received when a young boy committed suicide, another a gang rape, another sexual abuse. The Nog Stories create themselves as I create my own theology. I create my own theology as I create new beliefs in my search for happiness.
Rebecca :
Carolyn, your little book & your interview has helped me immensely as our spirit brother died in his sleep a few days ago - I think of all the gifts he brought into our lives by his passing - the friendships renewed; the bonding with his intimate family, the strangers we've met because of him & the color-filled world he carried on his shoulders. I thank you for your visions & clarity.
I do hope your knee continues to heal & Carolyn, do think of me when your next book is published.
Do check out my reviews of: Spirit-Walking Amazon's price is: $8.00
RebeccasiReads.com
