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Rebecca :
From one Grrl Genius to another -- Yo, Grrl Genius! Bring your fine behind over here & plunk it down at my tea party. Give me the skinny on Life from a Grrl Genius point of view! What you got to say for yourself, Grrl? They say a journey starts with that first step -- tell us about Step One in your Twelve Steps of the Grrl Genius Program.
Cathryn :
Like all 12-step programs, the first step is the most essential. You just have to declare yourself to be a grrl genius, based on no empirical evidence whatsoever, you are a genius because you say you are. Don't worry about silly things like IQ scores, everyone is a genius of Something, as soon as you blindly declare your genius, your genius will become apparent to you, I promise!
Rebecca :
Tell us about your competitive cooking frenzy & what's Step Two really about?
Cathryn :
I entered cooking contests because I was frustrated with certain aspects of my career in Hollywood & thought that it would be a good way to relax. My first contest was the live salad making competition at the Santa Barbara County Fair. I then became as bitter about the world of live salad making as I was about show business, because live salad making, as it turns out, is very political. It's all about who you know.
Rebecca :
Now, Grrl Genius, tell me how you become a seasoned funeral professional & what's that got to do with Step Three?
Cathryn :
I have been singing professionally at funerals since I was in high school. Having to sing over a variety of dead bodies has helped me come to terms with my inevitable mortality. It isn't for everyone, but it works for me.
Rebecca :
Seriously, when I was in charge of raising my daughter & son, I looked with awe upon the miracles I saw. Being myopic, I do see stuff very clearly when its up close & personal. Grrl, I could see my daughter was a genius & my beautiful son? I swore, he was from different a planet! What does Katherine Hepburn say about men & women & what's wrong with your Step Four?
Cathryn :
Katherine Hepburn doesn't think men & women should live together, she thinks they just ought to visit occasionally, & she may have a point. There is nothing wrong with step four of my program “Become entirely willing to commit to your Grrl Genius relationship, or don't”! Step four is perfect, step four is very open ended, there is no “wrong” way to work this step. Now that is just part of my genius.
Rebecca :
Who let the Grrls out? I knew you'd have to have us step into work. After all, work is the only thing keeping us from higher office. In Step Five you instruct us on how to be insufferably successful in the work place. What does a grrl do when she finds herself in the minority?
Cathryn :
A grrl constantly reminds herself of her genius in the workplace, & everything takes care of itself.
Rebecca :
Step Six sounds sappy. I'm with Elayne Boosler. What did she have to say & why are our bodies so important?
Cathryn :
If people cared as much about their bodies as they cared about their cars, well people would spend a lot more on yoga classes & a lot less on floormats.
Rebecca :
Mmmm, excuse me I was being dazzled by my own brilliance. Now what was I saying... ah yes, Step Seven. Seventh Heaven. This chapter is about the unmentionable. Any chance you could answer this one & keep our family rating intact? What happens when estrogen begins pumping through a grrl's veins? Keep it clean, Grrl Genius!
Cathryn :
Sex is the best entertainment available. Whether pursued on your own or with
others, it is both good & good for you.
Rebecca :
Rita Mae Brown mutters: “Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself.” Tell us a little about your 12-Step Program's higher power.
Cathryn :
God is great, God is Good, let us thank her for our food!
Rebecca :
I have managed to make it through nine steps, have transformed my knee-jerk reaction to being called a girl & now you're going to tell me to age gracefully? When does a Grrl grow up?
Cathryn :
A grrl is as young as she wants to be & as old as she needs to be.
Rebecca :
Okay, we've gotten to the “First Grrl Genius We Ever Met, Our Mother.” Why would your mother never discuss her personal problems in front of a roomful of strangers & if mothers are such Grrl Geniuses, why do daughters do the exact opposite?
Cathryn :
Mothers are such geniuses that we actually fall for their trick of doing the
opposite of them. Mothers want us to have big careers & one night stands. They just say they don't want it, so we will do it. Pure genius!
Rebecca :
Now you leave us with a Dire Warning -- can you give us a hint?
Cathryn :
If you want to be lifted up, lift up the grrls around you. Life is not a zero sum equation, the success of another grrl genius always, always serves to make way for your success.
Rebecca :
Cathryn :
Thank you, Cathryn Michon, for having fun, putting it on paper & joining me for a cup of tea! Go get'em, Grrl Genius!
[Editor's Note: this Interview was made earlier in the year during a more frivolous & innocent time. For those who don't know, & I was one of them, Cathryn Michon is the mistressmind behind the Grrl Genius Club -- a loosely knit sweater of Grrls including: Ellen Degeneres, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho & Janeane Garofalo who performed to sold-out audiences in Hollywood for several years.]
Do catch my review of Cathryn Michon's The Grrl Genius Guide to Life & give yourself a much-needed dose of light-hearted philosophy!
Pick up a copy today at Amazon.Com.
Rebecca Brown
(Published October 07, 2001)
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