Dr. Alma Bond's Interview with
Dr. Tina Tessina
Author of It Ends With You
Alma : It seems to me that your exercises attempt to enable people to get in touch with their childhood, & through insight, to leave it behind. I am struck by how similar this aim is to that of a good psychoanalysis. Do you agree? Are you psychoanalytically trained?
Tina : No, I'm not formally psychoanalytically trained, but I believe good therapy & good psychoanalysis have a lot in common. The kind of therapy I do was dubbed “Integral Psychology” by philosopher Ken Wilbur. It incorporates principles from both Freudian & Jungian psychology, depth psychology, & cognitive/behavioral psychology.
Alma : In my experience, most psychologists were their own first patients. Is this true of you? You quote Katherine Galvin, to the effect that “...families repeat themselves within and across generations.” Was this true of your family, too? Have you had to overcome anything in your upbringing to become the successful person you are today?
Tina : Oh, don't get me started! How about growing up with a severely depressed mother, & then my whole family (except her) dying between the time I was 12 & 18. By the time I was 18, my father had died, & I was left with no support, no education & no money. I truly believe I am a therapist because of my mother. I encountered therapy first when I was divorced, & the massive grief I'd been trying to outrun caught up with me. I went in as a client, & therapy saved my life. Then, during group therapy, I discovered I had a gift for helping others, so I decided to study. I was 29 then, & it took me 5 years to get my education & license. I had to put myself through school. I believe what carried me through all this was a driving desire to help my mother the way I had been helped by therapy. I never was able to, but I did manage to build a life that I love, which has meaning & purpose for me.
Alma : Who had the most influence in helping you to become the person you are? Did you have any female role models in your family whose footsteps you could follow in? What about professional role models? You seem to have begun your career about the time of the Women's Movement. Are you a Feminist? Has being a woman held you back in your career? Has it helped you in any way?
Tina : My father was a tremendous force in my life. He was unschooled, but highly intelligent, creative & intuitive. He very intentionally taught me to think for myself. Losing him so young taught me to rely on myself. My mother gave me a clear example of what happens when you don't take care of yourself emotionally, so she was a good reverse role model. I had an Aunt Olive, my mother's sister, who was a doctor of Osteopathy, & a very strong woman--she was a career role model, & my father's sister, my Aunt Ida, was a model for mothering.
Alma : Where did you get the idea for your exercises? They remind me a bit of The Method in acting. Did you study it?
Tina : I use exercises like this every day with clients in my private practice, so I know that they are effective. I studied Psychosynthesis & Psychodrama when I was getting my training, & both utilize techniques similar to those taught in acting classes.
Alma : I see you are a trained opera singer & give a concert every year. Did you want to be a professional opera singer, before you became a therapist? Would you still like to be one?
Tina : My first college experience was as a voice major at The Crane School of Music at SUNY, Potsdam, New York. I got there on scholarships because my father didn't want me to go so far away from home (about 400 miles.) He died shortly after I began college, & I was only able to complete two years. Then my savings ran out, & there was no more money (besides, the stress of my life was making it impossible to sing.) I sang professionally just a few times, but I never really wanted to be a performer--I wanted to teach music, because I had a high school music teacher, Mr. Chlypavka, who inspired & encouraged me. When I reached 50, I decided to go back & study voice again, & it is my joy--singing soothes, heals & de-stresses me. I'm a lyric coloratura, in the Bel Canto style. I am lucky enough to be coached by Marvellee Cariaga, who had a wonderful career, & is an amazing coach.
Alma : You also write poetry & lyrics. Would you like to publish a book of them? Would you like to write a novel?
Tina : I would enjoy having my poetry published, but I don't know if I could handle a round of “slams” to promote it at this point in my life. No, I have no motivation whatsoever to write a novel. But I have had a secret project of writing a stage musical for a number of years. My real life always seems to interfere.
Alma : You have accomplished so much for a relatively young person. Are you satisfied with your accomplishments?
Tina : Relatively is right! :-) I'm no spring chicken. Yes, I'm satisfied with my accomplishments as far as they go, but I don't feel my “job on Earth” as Joseph Campbell put it, is finished. I have a lot more to do, & I feel a great responsibility to be a healing force. Whatever gifts I have were given to me so I could use them to give back to others.
Alma : What are your goals for the future?
Tina : I just began a radio show “The Psyche Deli: Delectable Tidbits for the Subconscious” which can be heard here in Southern California at KUCI 88.9 FM, a public radio station, & is also simulcast on the Web at www.kuci.org. Every Thursday 4-5 PM PST tune in & call in at 949-824-5824 to ask questions on the air.
I also have a brand-new e-mail monthly newsletter “Happiness Tips” which gives a suggestion for improving your happiness, & lets people know who my radio guests are & where I'll be signing books. You can find out more about the radio show & the newsletter, or contact me & ask a question on my website, www.tinatessina.com.
I had some remarkable book tours in Mexico, Columbia & Costa Rica when my book, Las 10 decisiones que toda mujer debe tomar antes de los 40 was published in Spanish, & I'd love to do more touring & lecturing. I speak quite a bit of Spanish, although to give speeches, I need live translation. My books have been published in 14 languages, & I love to travel & meet people of other cultures.
Look for my “Dating Dr.” column on www.CouplesCompany.com & also the “Couples' Cruise to Alaska”
Alma :
Thank you Tina for such an enlightening interview.
Do catch my Review of Dr. Tina Tessina's It Ends With You -- I hope it makes you go out & buy yourself a copy!
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