Archived Editorial for 01/29/06

From Noir To Cosy in 12 Easy Stages
from Donna Moore

There is a wonderful array of crime fiction out there & it seems there are noir fans & cozy fans & never the twain shall meet. But how difficult would it be to turn a noir tale into a cozy, or vice versa? Well, how about writing 12 different versions to ensure your new novel appeals to the widest range of readers? Here are some handy hints.

A noir book is one that ends with all the characters dying/going to prison/becoming alcoholics/betraying each other and their own morals (if they had any to start with) - mostly a one book deal (after all, who'd want to put the poor sucker through all that again).

Add a wisecracking sidekick, a couple of shoot-outs & the love of a good woman for our PI who decides he's going to kick the booze, & you have a hardboiled tale.

Add a nasty serial killer, a morgue, some sharp knives & a know-it-all woman with a degree in pathology, & you have a forensic text book.

Give your serial killer a quirk where he's getting back at his mother by removing the left ear of his victim, add in a few italicized passages from the viewpoint of the killer, & you have a psychological thriller.

Add quotes from an obscure Turkish poet left at the scene of the crime, a chess playing killer & a discourse on philosophy every six pages, & you have a literary mystery.

Throw a couple of lawyers into the mix who use their courtroom skills to unveil the bad guy, and you have a legal thriller.

Enter the lone cop who has a passion for justice at the expense of his home life, & relaxes with a glass of something & some jazz music on the stereo, & you have the loner policeman book.

Give him some mates, a few jokes, a couple of attractive female colleagues & some interdepartmental squabbling, & you have a police procedural.

Introduce your newly optimistic & upbeat policeman to a nice widow with a penchant for sticking her nose in where it's not wanted, & you've got an amateur sleuth mystery.

Give Ms Nosy a clever, mystery-solving iguana as a pet, a hobby knitting bird tables out of leftover wool, throw in a recipe every couple of chapters, & you have a cozy.

Give the iguana the starring role, or give the heroine the ghost of a dead relative to contend with, & you have a woowoo mystery.

Transport the whole shooting match back to 1665 & dress them in pantaloons & bustles, & you have a historical mystery.

OK, well, the talking iguana wouldn't fit that well in 1665 (even wearing pantaloons), but I'm sure someone will do it one day :o)

Donna Moore
2006©Donna Moore
Donna Moore was born in 1962 and led a sheltered childhood in a small English village. A crime fiction fan from a young age, Donna wanted to be one of Enid Blyton's Famous Five and fight crime with the aid of only a basket of cucumber sandwiches and a bottle of ginger beer. She spent her spare time following mysterious strangers around the village - especially those with cockney accents and a couple of days' growth of stubble - until a complaint from the new local vicar put a stop to her sleuthing career.

She now lives in Glasgow with her partner John, where she has a thrilling dual career as a mild-mannered pension consultant by day, and an unemployed superhero by night. For relaxation she listens to Dean Martin and The Ramones, watches screwball comedy and film noir, and enjoys salsa, cha cha cha and merengue - despite having two left feet.

"...Go To Helena Handbasket" is her first book soon to be published.

Word of the week:
skulk \SKULK\ verb
1 - to move in a stealthy or furtive manner
2 - a) to hide or conceal something (as oneself) often out of cowardice, fear or with sinister intent
   - b) chiefly British : malinger
This is one for lovers of word puzzles. Can you name 3 things that the word “skulk” has in common with these words?
booth
brink
cog
flit
give
kid
meek
scab
seem
skull
snub & wing.
If you got that they're all monosyllabic, that's the first similarity.
The next 2 may be harder to guess. Give up?
All the words listed are of Scandinavian origin & all were first recorded in English in the 13th century.
& “skulk”? Its closest Scandinavian relative is the Norwegian dialect “skulka”, which means to lie in wait or lurk.

All thanks to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day.

Rebecca